I don't think brook has ever known best
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
