just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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