It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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