just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
