i think my mom watched the whole time
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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