Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I need water and some morals
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
