It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
