no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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