I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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