U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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