sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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