Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
that's an acceptable place to lick
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
