Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
my liver is dry heaving
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
