She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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