And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
