just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
