I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
40s are totally the cure
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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