This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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