We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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