my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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