she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
