Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
