How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We smell like vodka and hangover
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
