Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
