Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
