Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize