Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
