So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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