1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
