hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
