Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize
