Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
