i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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