Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
