i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
