Who did Billy Mays play for?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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