you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
