I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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