your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
