Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
