Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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