she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
