shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
