So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
