My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
