I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she woke up with a sticky ear
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize