If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
