Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
3 2 1 whiskey
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
