all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
