i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
