I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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