I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
