Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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