At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
