I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
