Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
