Are we in a gay sports bar?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
