Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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